I Love You to Death
by Hollie Katrina
Summary: What Dally feels the night he gos to propose to Sylvia
1. Chapter 1

I didn't understand myself. I didn't understand why I wanted to do this. She had cheated on me time and time again and we had broken up over and over again. Looking at her tonight, though, under the cheap lights in Buck's house I realized why I was doing this.

Because I loved her.

She was the girl I wanted to spend my life with, and maybe, just maybe if we were married she wouldn't run off with everybody else. She wouldn't two-time me. I wouldn't mess around, I wouldn't go to jail. I would spend every minute with her and only her. We could make a family. Johnny could be the godfather to our kids.

"I gotta pee," she said and she got off the bed. I smiled at her. She just walked out.

I looked around the room and found my pants. The ring was in there. I quickly got up, slipped my clothes on and prepared to ask her. I didn't know what I would say, but I hoped I didn't look like an idiot.

"Sylvia, I love you, I never loved someone so much. You are the only one I wanna be with the rest of my life," no, that was too corny. Not like me.

"Listen babe, I know we've had our problems but I wanna be with you forever. You are the girl of my dreams," that was better. I sat back down on the bed and waited. My heart was racing and my hands were sweating. I was shaking so bad I could barely sit still. I didn't want to give anything away too soon.

Sylvia's clothes were laying on the floor. If I hadn't known her it would have been weird for her to leave her clothes on the ground and go to the bathroom. Sylvia didn't care though. She had a banging body and loved to show it off. It made all the girls jealous of her. Guys weren't jealous of me, they figured they could have her anytime they wanted. If I ever caught her with another guy, I would rip his head off.

The doubts started to slip into my mind. She could run off again with someone else. She could decide a life with me isn't what she wants. It couldn't be true. Sylvia had sworn to me she would never run off again. She had sworn to me that I was the only guy she would be with from there on out. She had even gone off to get tested for STD's and to make sure she wasn't pregnant.

I trusted her; I knew she would keep her word. She had never cried in front of me before that night. She told me she was too afraid of not having me to ever mess up again. That was the first time Sylvia was honest with me. I knew in my heart and my brain that nobody would ever take her from me again. She was mine forever.

I opened the box and looked at the ring. It wasn't much, I had only been able to save three months pay to buy it for her. It was a low-end job, cheap pay and pretty crappy, but it got me money. I needed the money, I wanted to propose to her. Truth is, if it hadn't been for Soda and Steve I wouldn't have had the job at all. All I did was pump gas, which is hard work because it means being nice to everyone. I got minimum wage with tips. My rep was bad in Tulsa, though. I didn't get many tips.

Sylvia was gone for a long time. I thought she was having problems with someone, had gotten into a fight or couldn't get passed a guy. I would give her five more minutes then I would go looking for her. The clock ticked slowly. One minute.

It wasn't weird for Sylvia to be gone for a long time when she went into a room with mirrors. She loved to look at herself, sometimes she even talked to herself. She found any imperfection she had on her even if nobody else could see it. Sylvia didn't like herself, but she wouldn't admit it to anyone. She figured if nobody noticed it didn't matter.

I was getting worried. I knew she didn't know I wanted to ask her to marry me but she was taking a long time. I stood up and walked out of the bedroom and towards the bathroom. I didn't see Sylvia anywhere. I knocked on the door. Nobody answered. I knocked again, then opened the door.

Buck was running around trying to find all his clothes. Sylvia stood in the corner staring at me. Buck tried to run past me and I caught him by the throat.

"What are you doing?" I yelled in his face. I had never seen Buck so scared in his life. I was going to kill him. I didn't care if he was once one of my best friends. I didn't care if he had any sort of life ahead of him. He was with my girl, and you just don't hook up with someone else's girl.

"Dally, stop!" Sylvia was screaming in the corner. I ignored her and shoved Buck into the door frame.

"You think you can just run off with her and get away with it? I'm gonna kill you!" I could feel my face getting red. I grabbed my knife out of my pocket and put it against his troat.

"Dallas! Please! Stop!" Sylvia's voice was barely above a whisper to me. I was so caught up in my anger that I didn't care. I knew people were crowding around now and I knew they were judging me, judging Sylvia, judging Buck. I didn't care. I dug the knife deeper into his neck.

Someone touched my arm. I turned, knife in hand and was face to face with Sodapop. Buck ran off, leaving a nice trail of blood behind him. My knife must have cut him when I turned. It was fine, the bastard deserved it.

Soda backed away, seeing the anger in my eyes. I turned on Sylvia. She was still standing in the corner.

"Dally, I can explain, I really can." Her beautiful brown eyes begged for me to listen. The begging was over. I was past that. My heart felt like it was about to tear out of my chest. I wouldn't cry. Not in front of everyone. I approached her slowly. The fear grew in her eyes and she shrunk against the wall.

"This is what you left me for? For a little fun with Buck in the bathroom? You're a bitch. You're a lying bitch. You can rot in hell," the words tasted bitter coming out of my mouth. I pulled the ring out of my pocket and threw it at her then left the bathroom. I walked out the front door and into the dark, wiping my eyes so nobody would see me cry.

She was the only girl I ever wanted and she was gone. She never came after me, she never called my name. She was really gone. I walked home. I wanted to be alone. I layed in my bed and let the tears flow down my face. I didn't cry a lot, I didn't like crying but this girl was worth it.

I lied.

She was not worth it, she lied to me, and she cheated on me.

But I still loved her.

I held the knife in my hand and circled it around my fingers. I pointed the blade towards my chest. I pushed the knife through my heart and was surrounded by blackness.


	2. Chapter 2

I hadn't lied to Dally. I suppose he had thought I did. I wasn't messing around. Nobody believes me because of my past, but Dally was the only man I wanted to be with. I messed up a lot, I hurt him a lot, but it didn't mean I didn't care for him.

That night, the fateful night that Dally was going to propose to me. The night Dally took his own life, that was the night I was almost raped.

I had left the room and gone into the bathroom. I thought everyone would either be down at the party or gone. I didn't think anybody would be upstairs, let alone by the room Dally and I were in, so I left the room buck naked. Lone behold, Buck himself was standing outside the bathroom. I walked past him and he whistled at me.

"Lookin' good, Sylvia." He winked at me. I turned.

"Don't talk to me like that," I stated and turned back towards the bathroom. I began to shut the door and it was stopped. I looked up, half expecting to see Dally. That's who I wanted to see. We used to have all kinds of fun in the bathroom at Buck's place. There Buck was, one hand in his pocket, one hand on the door, staring down at me with a smirk on his ugly face.

"Aw sweetheart you're not gonna do me in like that are ya? I need a good woman tonight and you—" he stepped into the bathroom, "are my first choice." He shut the door.

"Get away from me, Buck, I'm not doing this anymore." I stepped past him towards the door. He grabbed my arm.

"You don't make those choices, I do." I tried pulling my arm away.

"Let go of me, I'm not two-timing Dally again." His grip got harder and he pulled me towards him. He started kissing down my neck. I wasn't going to cry, not in front of him. He wouldn't get the pleasure of seeing me vulnerable. I tried pushing him away but he was built like stone. His head shot up, his eyes full of fire and he pushed me across the bathroom. I ran into the wall and crumbled.

He began to walk towards me, stripping off his clothes as he did so.

"We can either do this the easy way or the hard way. You're choice." He was completely naked now standing in front of me.

"I won't do it, Buck!" I wanted to scream for help, but nobody would hear me. The music was too loud and Dally was probably sleeping by now. He pulled me up by my hair and I bit my lip to keep from screaming. He put his mouth right by my ear.

"You will do it" he spoke in a whisper but the power behind the words was like he had yelled them. There was a knock on the door. Buck let go of my hair and I backed into the corner, trying to get away from him. He signaled me to keep quiet or else. There was another knock, Buck opened his mouth to say something but the door began to open. Buck started grabbing his clothes but it was too late. Dally was standing in the doorway.

Dally looked at Buck for a long time, watching him gather his clothing and then he looked at me. I knew that second that he thought I had lied to him. He thought I had snuck off just to have a good time. I could see it in his eyes. He was mad.

Buck tried to run past him and Dally grabbed him by the neck. He turned his head slowly and glared at Buck before he started yelling. The sound of Dally yelling was the scariest thing in the world. I had never seen him this angry. He looked ready to kill.

Dally whipped out a knife and held it against Buck's throat. I screamed, he couldn't go to jail for murder. Not when I needed him for the rest of my life. A crowd was forming outside the bathroom. Most were watching the scene unfold between Dally and Buck, but some were looking at me. They were judging me. They saw me standing nude in the corner and Buck standing nude between Dally and the doorway. Soda grabbed Dally's arm. He turned on Soda, knife still in hand. I saw the knife slash across the side of Buck's neck. At least he wasn't dead.

Soda backed off, but Dally didn't. He turned to me and walked slowly towards me. I begged him to understand. I knew what he thought he saw and I knew what really happened. I wouldn't have hurt Dally like that, not after letting him see me at my worst. I swore I would never cry in front of him and I had. Dally's eyes were full of pain. I had never seen him hurting this bad and it killed me. I couldn't handle it. His eyes begged for me to make it better, begged for it to be a dream. I wanted to, I tried to. I wanted him to understand. I opened my mouth to talk and Dally cursed me out and threw a box at me. He left the bathroom and I could see him trying to keep from crying.

I sat on the floor and opened the box. Inside the box was an engagement ring. He wanted to spend his life with me too.

"Oh, Dallas." I whispered. Everyone started leaving and I headed back to the room. I put my clothes back on and put the ring in my pocket. I needed to go find him.

I walked outside and he was nowhere to be found.

"Dally? Baby, where are you?" I called. No answer. He was gone. He had slipped right through my fingers. I could never have him now because of a misunderstanding. My whole life was gone. I headed home.

The next day one of my friends showed up on my doorstep.

"Sylvia, you gotta hear this," she turned the TV on.

"Breaking news! A young man is found dead in his home this morning in an apparent suicide. Authorities identified him as Dallas Winston. Investigation is still under way," I felt the floor sinking underneath me. He was gone. Not just in the sense I couldn't have him. He had killed himself. Over me. Over this. I wouldn't believe this. I ran out of the house towards Dally's house.

"Dallas!" I screamed. As I neared his home I found an ambulance, the other greasers and his parents standing by the house. The police were inside. I ran towards the ambulance. This couldn't be real. The EMT's tried to stop me.

"No! You don't understand! That's my fiancé! Don't keep me from him! He can't be dead!" the police began to pull me away. As the carried him out on a stretcher I saw his face. I saw the gash in his chest where his heart was. I saw his pain in the form of blood. I fell to the ground. Dally was gone, and it was my fault.

"Dallas! Wake up! You don't understand! He was trying to rape me! I wouldn't do that to you! Wake up!" I was screaming so loud the neighbors were starting to come out. The police just dragged me away from my only love.

So Dallas, if you can somehow hear me please understand. You were my life, my world. You were the only one I wanted for my whole life. I didn't two-time you. He tried to make me, but thankfully you came along just in time. I know how you must have felt, but I swear to you, one day I will make this up to you.

I love you.


End file.
